The
balancing of three worlds: work, school and life in general. All involve an
enormous amount of effort and energy. As seen in Oppression to Grace edited
by Theodorea Regina
Berry and Nathalie Mizelle, many of the women struggled
in balancing their families, especially as single mothers. In On Beauty by Zadie Smith,
we see the opposite where academia meshes with their private lives creating an
interesting world for their family. Personally, I believe keeping both worlds
separate and balanced is important and a struggle. From my past experience, I
have put school and building my resume first- not to an extreme point, but to
the point where I ignored some responsibilities as the oldest daughter. Now,
having just recently start over in college I have been able to put my family
first then my academic career and have been a world more satisfied with myself
creating a new perspective for myself. Family has always been an
important aspect in my life and I am glad to have been able to wage the war and
finally put them first. Advancing my resume and such, affects their lives in
some way such as in my ability to get scholarships, but their well-being is
much more important. As we have learned academia can come in all
different ways such as traveling, life experience, and really, you only have
one family and relationships that become easily less visible when losing sight
of the bigger picture. In the end it all comes down to, "what brings me
joy?" Here are different concepts and aspects our quartet and class has
covered in regards to balancing work, school and life in general.
"Maintaining
the line between personal and private definitely takes
self-discipline." -Izumi
I can
relate to Izumi, but also believe maintaining
that line not only involves self- discipline, but much more reflection. With
reflection you can see where you stand, how you feel, what you want and how you
have to adjust to "find your joy." I have personally struggled with
that balance. When stress overcomes me I tend to neglect my other
responsibilities besides those that initially caused my stress. It does take a
lot of meditating, self- discipline and reflection to remind me of what is
important. Personally, "maintaining the line," between the two worlds
would mean more of keeping out my academia life from my private life. My main
extra-curricular activity is the Dream Project, so when I find myself
struggling to deal with the stress of school while putting my family above all,
I ask myself, "How can I be helping other students, when I'm not helping
my own family?" That puts everything into priority for me.
"I'm not sure about the rest of you, but as an undergraduate working
full-time it's difficult to even find a balance between work, school, and life (even
worse to maintain it)." -Ajay
I could
never imagine working full-time and having anything close to balance in my
life. I don't know how students do it and especially be involved in
extra-curricular activities at the same time. The need to work full-time
becomes more common as tuition rises and financial aid lessens. I wasn't
planning on working during the school year, but from recent
number estimations I know I'll be looking for a part time job after the
summer. How are students expected to keep their grades up while working and
building up their resume? Tuition increases, amp up the need for
scholarships therefore also increasing the competition and need to balance
these all, while having some hint of a life. I especially want to highlight in
Ajay's comment, "even worse to maintain it." It is a constant
balancing act, walking across the beam. You prioritize one more than another or
more than usual and it throws off your whole act.
"With
only 24 hours in a day, the hours required by both work and school often come
at the expense of extra-curricular education." -Ajay
This
all goes back to the pressures of building your resume and developing as a
person through those activities, instead of just in the classroom, but how can
you with only 24 hours in the day? There never seems to be enough hours in the
day. Extra-curricular education does take the backseat when it comes to work
and school. Without work how are you supposed to go to school if your funds are
limited, especially with the budget cuts? How do you decide which extracurricular
activities to cut when they are your true passions compared to work? The
academy, work, and our personal lives not only include balancing, but
sacrifice.
"Something
about his academic life had changed love for him, changed its nature"
(225). -Zadie Smith, On
Beauty
I
understand Howard in the sense that the academic life changed him. High school
did this to me in both positive and negative ways. I developed socially,
learned how to manage my time and had the time of my life being involved in
high school, but my personal relationships tended to be neglected in that
balancing act. The nature of my role as the oldest sister and daughter changed.
My sisters' expectations of me altered from asking me for help or to just
listen to them to understanding that I wasn't really listening or that I wasn't
going to do anything about it which is sad and I entirely regret. I wasn't a
sister. My academic life was my life. I even told one friend of mine that I
couldn't deal with the stress of school, ASB,
National Honor Society and all that jazz with the drama of our friendship. My
life was about building my resume, getting into colleges and building up my
resume to get as many scholarships as I could. Yes I sacrificed and succeeded,
but lost my joy along the way. What was first fun became dreadful at times. I
never stopped and asked myself, "Are these my priorities?" or
"Do I like who I am?" I believe I loved myself in the terms of my
success, but not in the most important aspect of being the best person I could
be. I do not understand Howard in terms of his mid-life crisis and various
sexual relations, but I do understand losing yourself along the way.
"I
had made someone else, but what about me? Had I made myself?” (161). - KaaVonia Hinston-Johnson, Choosing
My Best Thing
This
past year of transitioning into college and having dealt with personal problems
among my relationships has called me to step up and to be the older sister and
good friend. Oh yes, there have been many sacrifices, but with those sacrifices
and forced growth I believe I have come out a better person. In
"making" others, I have found a joy that makes me. I think I rather
have wanted to step up under different circumstances, but I am the most
happiest with myself. I used to define myself in terms of success and how many
goals I've checked off my lists- which definitely did make me happy, but now
defining myself in terms of how I help my family and friends
has fulfilled me in many more ways. Even with these positives, comes
the struggle of deciding when I can put myself first, or naturally ask myself,
"What am I doing for myself?" Despite the growth in myself, I ask
myself that often. I can't even imagine the responsibility of a child, a career
and myself. From all our readings and discussions, I give even more kudos to
mothers.
"Academics
in that sense are no different from the rest of working class citizens."- Izumi
Izumi said
this in terms of childcare and the support given to those in academia compared
to the rest of the "working class citizens." In terms of circumstances
such as computes, I believe it trumps occupation. But in terms of
occupation, I see academia more understanding with family priorities in the
sense the student- teacher relationship is somewhat a reflection of the
child-parent relationship. I plan is to remain in fields that involves
education, but in terms of being a social worker, eventually a teacher and
working in education policy. Specifically as a social worker, I believe the
profession would be as understanding as education as both involves working with
people and having empathy.
"I
think it’s all right for a work place to check a Facebook, but I
do not think a work applicant should be discriminated against for this."
- Izumi
When I
think of the work-school-life balancing act I see it more as a personal
balancing act, and not so much the dynamics of those in my workplace being able
to invade my private life. I understand the rights anyone, even work places
have to check Facebook, but I do not agree with it
being required to give access to your Facebook to
be eligible for a job. I believe that crosses the line and discriminates as Izumi said. Facebook is
a good indicator of the professionalism of a person, such as their profile picture,
but I believe going through posts and such crosses the line of privacy. I would
just ask those investigating employees' profiles, how would you feel if the
same was done to you?
Knowing your workplace can access your Facebook at
any time is like having a watchdog over you. I believe employees should be
judged on their work habits and their credentials, not if they are in an off
and on relationship and like to party with their friends.
"There are lots of things I use currently to help me keep going and
have a good balance." -Melanie
Melanie
listed a good list of what she does for herself in finding her joy and balance.
This included planning ahead of time, getting enough sleep and dividing chores
in an effective way. I definitely do not plan as effectively with back-up jobs,
but I do use goal lists all the time. My goal lists help filter out my mind and
keep me focused on what is important to me. My room is also filled with quotes
that give me strength and help remind me that I can make it through the day. My
constantly up-dated goal lists are a way for me to reflect on my life, what I
want and what is or is not working for me. Among my priorities are not only my
family and grades, but joining a certain amount of activities or trying
something new each quarter, working out and flossing regularly. They keep me on
track. When I move back home for the summer, I plan on adding another sign in
my room that asks, "What is my joy?" Constant reflection is necessary to make sure your balance is not off, and that you are where you want to be.
These quotes show the different aspects and perspectives that come to mind when it comes to the ultimate balancing act of work, school and life. With that balancing act our joy can lose its way off our list of priorities. Personally, balancing has been a struggle for me throughout high school and as I have seen priorities do change, but as I continue my journey through the academy I hope to keep in mind what I have learned in this class and to constantly keep the act of reflecting in my life.